Here are fifty questions you might want to address. There is no score for these questions. Your own instinct will tell you to what degree they apply to you.
1. | Do you go for long periods without being involved in a sexual or romantic relationship? | Yes [ ] No [ ] |
2. | Do you go without social activities for extended periods of time? | Yes [ ] No [ ] |
3. | Although in a relationship, have you found that, for a long while, you have not experienced: romance? sexuality? intimacy? friendship? | Yes [ ] No [ ] |
4. | Are you alone more than you want, but feel unable to change that? | Yes [ ] No [ ] |
5. | At work do you have trouble developing relationships? | Yes [ ] No [ ] |
6. | Do you avoid relationships with a certain gender? | Yes [ ] No [ ] |
7. | Do you stay aloof when in groups? | Yes [ ] No [ ] |
8. | Are you afraid of being noticed? | Yes [ ] No [ ] |
9. | Does being in the presence of others exhaust you? | Yes [ ] No [ ] |
10. | Do you habitually panic or push people away when they start getting close? | Yes [ ] No [ ] |
11. | Do you usually try to withdraw from or completely control emotions? | Yes [ ] No [ ] |
12. | Do you feel uncomfortable when offered nurturing? | Yes [ ] No [ ] |
13. | Do you usually dread encountering someone to whom you are attracted? | Yes [ ] No [ ] |
14. | Do you feel safer when a relationship remains at the level of flirting and intrigue? | Yes [ ] No [ ] |
15. | Do you feel a deep pessimism about your ability to experience lasting intimate relationships? | Yes [ ] No [ ] |
16. | Are you continually attracted to people who don't meet your needs? | Yes [ ] No [ ] |
17. | Are you afraid to relax around people because you fear it might lead to a sexual situation? | Yes [ ] No [ ] |
18. | Do you fantasize about having a relationship without actually pursuing a relationship? | Yes [ ] No [ ] |
19. | Do your sexual habits, masturbation for instance, keep you from relationships? | Yes [ ] No [ ] |
20. | Anhedonia means the refusal to receive or give pleasure. Do you practice it? | Yes [ ] No [ ] |
21. | Do you regularly disown your physical and emotional need for others? | Yes [ ] No [ ] |
22. | Do you have a hard time playing and having fun with others? | Yes [ ] No [ ] |
23. | Is it so difficult for you to set healthy boundaries with others that you withdraw completely? | Yes [ ] No [ ] |
24. | Does everything have to be perfect before you get involved? | Yes [ ] No [ ] |
25. | Do you envy more outgoing people? | Yes [ ] No [ ] |
26. | Do you feel your demonstrativeness is inauthentic? | Yes [ ] No [ ] |
27. | Does shame about your life cause you to avoid relationships? | Yes [ ] No [ ] |
28. | Do you use your feelings of superiority or inferiority to set yourself apart from others? | Yes [ ] No [ ] |
29. | Do you think that no healthy, attractive person or group of people would want someone like you? | Yes [ ] No [ ] |
30. | Do you have a hard time letting people know you care about them? | Yes [ ] No [ ] |
31. | Do you think you are not "enough" - smart enough, attractive enough, old enough, young enough, successful enough, healthy enough, _____enough to deserve a relationship? | Yes [ ] No [ ] |
32. | Do you stay in relationships because you feel you don't deserve anything better or can't have anything different? | Yes [ ] No [ ] |
33. | Do you find it overwhelmingly difficult to show emotion or to tell the truth to someone you wish to be involved with? | Yes [ ] No [ ] |
34. | Do you drive others away by coldness? aggression? timidity? | Yes [ ] No [ ] |
35. | Do you prefer being alone, rather than question the choices that keep you alone? | Yes [ ] No [ ] |
36. | Is your fear of rejection or of looking foolish so intense that you seem to be permanently stuck? | Yes [ ] No [ ] |
37. | Do you suspect that your capacity to move toward intimacy with another is damaged or dead? | Yes [ ] No [ ] |
38. | Do you have an overwhelming fear of being socially, sexually, or emotionally, exploited or used? | Yes [ ] No [ ] |
39. | Do you usually feel resentful or envious toward people who have intimate relationships or active social lives? | Yes [ ] No [ ] |
40. | Do you find sex repugnant? | Yes [ ] No [ ] |
41. | Do you feel sex is only for healthy people and will therefore never be for you? | Yes [ ] No [ ] |
42. | Are you more open to people you cannot be sexually close to? | Yes [ ] No [ ] |
43. | When you do date someone, do you set a time limit beforehand on how long you will date that person? | Yes [ ] No [ ] |
44. | Are you tied to your family of origin to the exclusion of others? | Yes [ ] No [ ] |
45. | Are you mainly attracted to unavailable people? | Yes [ ] No [ ] |
46. | Do you consider it not worth the trouble to engage with others because past experiences have been threatening or painful - especially if others want to get close to you? | Yes [ ] No [ ] |
47. | Do you feel more comfortable or more in control when you decline sex or relationship or social invitations? | Yes [ ] No [ ] |
48. | Are you habitually more open to strangers than those you are close to? | Yes [ ] No [ ] |
49. | Do you feel so different from others that you are afraid no one can care about you or understand you? | Yes [ ] No [ ] |
50. | Do you feel that love is missing from your life, yet don't know what to do about it? | Yes [ ] No [ ] |